Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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