This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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