it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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