I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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