We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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