Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
