You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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