Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
