he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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