who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
