if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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