so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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