Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
