dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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