let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
