bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
