I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
