The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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