I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The power of my boobs compel you
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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