I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
