I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
