i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
