i jhust puked up my retainher.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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