420 ftw
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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