Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
