omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize