I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
