is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
