I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
