You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
