Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
