from now on my penis is your penis
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Everclear isn't food dammit
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
