every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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