I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
