i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
