My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
