windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
