i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His nipple licking is glorious
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
