Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
