Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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