He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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