Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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