yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
