no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
