Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
