he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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