wat bout pragnant strippers??
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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