Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
