No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
