So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
