I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Michael Bay diarrhea
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
